Covid19

I have not felt the need to write on this blog for quite some time, as when I do it is a cathartic act for when I am worried. Along with many, the uncertainty and limbo we have been left in has finally triggered my anxiety. Up until a couple of days ago I was admittedly blase about the virus and it's impact. Well not blase, but on the fence about it. Not sure what to think. Is this all an under or over reaction?

This type of anxiety I am feeling is manageable at present but it is near unbearable being in limbo. This staggered response by the government is hard to cope with. Personally, I would rather be on total lockdown so I know where I stand. Simple daily acts have now become a subject of uncertainty.

I can only comment on my personal experience. Currently, I am in limbo about my job. I just can't see a feasible outcome. I work in a school that will be open for vulnerable children and those who have key worker parents. I have to go to sleep tonight not knowing what my working life will be like next week. With staff and children already in isolation it is hard to imagine what is going to happen.

I mention work first because that is what's impacting me first. Of course I also have worries about the actual virus itself and the people that will lose their lives because of it. I have to now think carefully of who I interact with. Could I be potentially infecting them without knowing? It's a horrible thought. Especially with elderly relatives. Working in a school environment has obviously left me quite exposed. As does the need to use public transport daily.

I suppose the conflicting advice being given out at the moment is frustrating me. The lack of control is making me anxious. My husband working in health care has left us under pressure and irritable. I'm not even going to mention the bulk buyers!

This post may be a little fragmented but so is my brain at the minute. I hope by sharing some thoughts on this I can reach some common ground with people. Know that not everyone is out there for themselves and whatever worries you have they are valid. We are living in unprecedented times.