Yet again sleep has eluded me. It's just past 3am and although I love the quiet at this time, I also love sleep. Despite staying awake for 39 hours straight this week already, I am confronted with the fact that may happen again. Have I already said I love sleep? Some among us don't share the same opinion and if they could take a pill and never sleep again they would. I like to think of sleep as a regeneration process. During sleep the body is still working; storing memory, 'fixing' chemical .imbalances in the brain, keeping skin healthy and so on. I'm not sure why this bout of insomnia has hit me so hard this week. It could be down to a higher dose of medication or my endless racing thoughts about my upcoming wedding or worries about my state of mind OR all of the above. It's truly great to have a creative mind, but sometimes it goes into overdrive.
To help with my sudden rush of thoughts I've inadvertently turned the telephone jotter into a wedding planner. On my to do list is buying a scrapbook so the pages aren't to chaotic. Now most of my house is decorated my focus has shifted to a wedding. I don't know if the sudden urges to complete things is part of my illness but it's made me get shit done. Other times I feel like doing nothing at all and showering is an achievement.
On the weekend I went to a wedding fair and ended up finding a wedding venue. I worried all week that I wouldn't feel up to going as last week I felt pretty low. I'm glad I went. Finding out a venue I loved was actually achievable felt great. Once the venue was found the planning side started to snowball. I found my dress. This may all be in vain as I still have my fingers crossed to win a free wedding. It's warmed my heart the effort some people have gone to to collect tokens for us.
Now I'm going to try to regenerate. If this isn't achievable I will at least rest with my kitties. Don't leave me out again Mr.Sandman.
No comments:
Post a Comment